Harry grew up as a relatively lonely boy living with his horrible relatives, the abominable Dursleys. Never did he think of himself as anything but an ordinary boy with no particular skills to speak of, or special talents with which to impress his friends (which were scarce to begin with). Although the Dursleys always did their best to keep Harry as repressed and downtrodden as they possibly could, he was a boy of indomitable spirit, quite self-sufficient in his affairs and capable of handling his difficult relatives with cool humor and often unexpected spontaneous and witty remarks.
He got himself in trouble for it often, and also for things he couldn't always explain to himself or others for how he made them happen. His relatives would come down on him hard whenever he did this, and he had to suffer many evenings locked in his bedroom as penance for many unintentional and innocent mischiefs (mostly directed at his bullying cousin, who looked and ate like a pig). He spent this time writing poor poetry and staring at the fan a lot, which is how he developed a peculiar manner of talking in a lengthy monotone anytime someone asked him any unsolicited questions about magic.
One thing Harry really liked to do though was talk to snakes, and young as he was he did not think of it as anything unusual. Because the Dursleys rarely ever gave him any pocket money, and because Harry was quite entrepreneurial by nature and he really wanted money to buy the new Playstation and a few guitars he'd always wanted to own, he decided to put up an ad in The Daily Prophet to see if anyone'd wanna learn how to talk to them. It wasn't quite common to see people wanting a snake as a pet in his neighbourhood those days, but Harry'd always preferred them. The street dogs always chased him up the Peepal tree, and cats petrified him! To his delight, many kids signed up for his class and he scheduled his first lesson for the coming weekend.
Harry - "Welcome fellow Parseltongues! Feel free to sit in any pose that you feel the snake rise within you and we shall see whether you are worthy of being in the Slytherin house, which is where I could have been if I'd just kept my mouth shut at the stupid Sorting. We shall start with warming up with the Cobra pose!"
Student - "Professor Potter, could you teach us how to say hello in Parseltongue?!"
Harry - "Hsssssshhaahhh!! Do not speak while assuming the Cobra pose, or you shall never receive Salazar Slytherin's blessing!!"
Student - "Sorry sir. How long should I hold the pose for? My back's really starting to hurt!"
Harry - "Never mind that, I'm not here to teach yoga anyway. So how many of you have ever been bitten by a snake? Let's see a show of hands real quick!!"
Student - " I almost stepped in snake poo once!"
Harry - "Brilliant! You definitely have Salazar's gift my friend! Did the snake see you when you did this?"
Student - "Yes sir, I've still got the puncture marks on my left buttock!!"
Harry - "So the first thing you want to say to a snake isn't hello at all, it'll just waggle its tongue at you silly boy. You want to do it to him first, so he knows you won't tolerate any mockery! Ha!"
Students (in unison) - "Yeah we wouldn't want that!!"
Harry - "So this is your first lesson! Practice waggling and spitting in front of the mirror each day for 15 minutes, feel the snake rise within you as you do this! We shall see next week who's the best, and they'll get a first copy of the Philosophers stone and a broken Basilisk egg! Chop chop!"
Disclaimer: I was up past midnight one day as this piece came rushing out quite by itself, so I cannot possibly assume all responsibility for causing any offence or scandalising the reader in any way. Still, my apologies if any time of yours was wasted! 😁