Wow, Abhishek - you really crafted this piece. I commend you for baring your soul and the tug of war that goes on inside of you. Even though you can’t see into others, we have our own unique tug of wars too. You’re not alone.
I especially loved this: “To claim my voice back, to be unwise again, to be who I used to be. And still really am inside.”
In my own very circuitous journey, I’ve discovered through trial and error, through good decisions and bad decisions, many I’m not proud of and others I am, that following that thread of who I really am inside is the key to heading in the right direction.
Thanks for reaffirming that I’m not alone in my conflict and returning to the true self has been the right direction for you. Maybe the circuit does have to be played before it can be exited lol, maybe the miles give you courage and hindsight
Really enjoyed reading this one, thanks for sharing so honestly and openly Abhishek. I relate so much to this in the strange, uncertain, and unknowing place I find myself in. I'm learning to be okay with not knowing, to accept the uncertainty, and to have faith in myself that I will figure it out.
Loved how you closed the essay: How the fuck does a spider know where to spin the next thread, in the middle of the web??
My bet is the spider's just doing what feels right, taking the next most essential step to complete the web. No pressure or anxiety to get it done, just spindling the web where he is, following that thread, and spindling some more when he gets there. No hurry, no pause. Maybe there's something we can learn from him...
Haha that’s definitely something to ponder about and learn from the spider! Your comment is so apt to how it must go about spinning, because it does always seem to get the job done 😂 . Thanks Jack!
“There’s the silent dreamer whose dreams come awake at night when the world goes to sleep, my fears have gone to bed, and there’s no more masks to wear or expectations to fulfil and I can be thirteen year old again, listening to Metallica and pretending I’ll still make it as a musician one day and follow what in my heart of hearts I still feel a feeble calling beckon.”
One of my favorite parts---great piece, Abhishek. It’s a joy to see you sharing more of your writing lately. Don’t stop!
Wow, Abhishek - you really crafted this piece. I commend you for baring your soul and the tug of war that goes on inside of you. Even though you can’t see into others, we have our own unique tug of wars too. You’re not alone.
I especially loved this: “To claim my voice back, to be unwise again, to be who I used to be. And still really am inside.”
In my own very circuitous journey, I’ve discovered through trial and error, through good decisions and bad decisions, many I’m not proud of and others I am, that following that thread of who I really am inside is the key to heading in the right direction.
I honor you.
Appreciate you James.
Thanks for reaffirming that I’m not alone in my conflict and returning to the true self has been the right direction for you. Maybe the circuit does have to be played before it can be exited lol, maybe the miles give you courage and hindsight
Really enjoyed reading this one, thanks for sharing so honestly and openly Abhishek. I relate so much to this in the strange, uncertain, and unknowing place I find myself in. I'm learning to be okay with not knowing, to accept the uncertainty, and to have faith in myself that I will figure it out.
Loved how you closed the essay: How the fuck does a spider know where to spin the next thread, in the middle of the web??
My bet is the spider's just doing what feels right, taking the next most essential step to complete the web. No pressure or anxiety to get it done, just spindling the web where he is, following that thread, and spindling some more when he gets there. No hurry, no pause. Maybe there's something we can learn from him...
Haha that’s definitely something to ponder about and learn from the spider! Your comment is so apt to how it must go about spinning, because it does always seem to get the job done 😂 . Thanks Jack!
“There’s the silent dreamer whose dreams come awake at night when the world goes to sleep, my fears have gone to bed, and there’s no more masks to wear or expectations to fulfil and I can be thirteen year old again, listening to Metallica and pretending I’ll still make it as a musician one day and follow what in my heart of hearts I still feel a feeble calling beckon.”
One of my favorite parts---great piece, Abhishek. It’s a joy to see you sharing more of your writing lately. Don’t stop!
Appreciate your support! Yes, hoping to keep the momentum going this time 🤞